Beyond All
by Ookamikyo
Summary: SBRM slash. After Sirius was taken to Azkaban, Remus begins to wonder about his friend! The depression begins to sink in for both of them as they remember the past with the group.
1. Default Chapter

Beyond All – Prologue:  
  
"A path that is broad can still become narrow. The lightest day can lead to the darkest night, though I am not saying that everything ends in sadness! A friendship can pass, but others can be made and old ones rekindled. Just as morning will always bring an end to darkness."  
  
Remus put the end of his feathered quill to his lips. Stroking the silky material against his cheek, as he thought of what else to say. A letter that said goodbye is a terrible thing indeed. Even more so when the people you are saying goodbye to will never read it! His brow furrowed in concentration as he pushed himself into thinking harder. He re-read his work and looked for any clues or mistakes, nothing sprang to mind. He placed his Prussian blue quill into his inkpot, giving up for the evening.  
  
Remus lay back in his wooden seat, allowing the front legs to be slightly lifted from the ground. Brilliant amber eyes dulled to a deep hazel, bags and worry-lines having their minds' set on wearing away at his morose face. He grasped his tawny, tattered cloak closer to his body. Using it as some feeble attempt at comfort. Around him the world was cheerful...the sky full of life, the air breathing new life as Remus clung desperately to the old life. The one with his friends, James and Lily, Peter...and! Could he even bring himself to call that man a friend? He betrayed his most loyal friends...killed one of his best friends and innocent bystanders! How could he call this man a friend? Why did he harbour such emotions still for him? A choked sob escaped his quivering lips as he let himself mentally curl up inside himself to cry.  
  
- - - - - - -  
  
The air was foul, the stench of rancid moulding flesh, bodily waste and the tang of coppery blood. The sensation was not lost upon Sirius, as he tried his best not to breathe through his nose. The place was dank, sucking Sirius into its shadowy depths. This dismal place was not the only thing devouring his spirit! Dementors constantly glided past, and each time they did Sirius felt closer to death. His heart had died with James and Lil', with the thought that not a living person on this Earth had not blamed him for their pre-empted lives.  
  
A faint glimmer of hope remained in him...even though it was not much. Remus was alive. He was safe now; his dear little werewolf was safe from Voldemort.  
  
"Remus." Sirius sighed. He had been doing that a lot! And every time he thought of sweet Lupin was another time that the Dementors would come and seize that happy thought into them. Into their sick and twisted forms, into their disgusting soulless selves! Now was one of those times, as the sick decomposing smell drew closer, nearer to their next meal. 


	2. Memories

Disclaimer (I forgot it in the prologue!!!!): None of these characters are mine...I'm not getting any money from this...just satisfaction. Thankyou!  
  
(Little thanks for my first review (Silent Shinigami) severely strange first part! But thank you for the review, glad you liked it)  
  
Chapter 1:  
  
Humid air clung in the prison. There was no breeze, making the air stagnant and hard to breathe. Death loomed above the heads of countless souls in this place. Sirius was finding it harder and harder to keep the image of Lupin in his head. Every time he was able to conjure up the image, a Dementor would just come and consume the beautiful face and replace it with the dead bodies of James and Lily, with their baby Harry crying, blood covering his face.  
  
He wanted to be there with Lupin and Dumbledore, to mourn with the countless others and celebrate the disappearance of Voldemort...but how could he even show his face in public again?  
  
'What does Remus think of me now? Could he really believe that I killed Lil and James? Does he really think I would betray my closest friends in the World?' The thought of Remus hating him was enough to send an aching jolt through his heart. He knew that it was his entire fault. Maybe not directly, but he was the one to change being the secret keeper, he was the one that didn't see Wormtail for what he really was! It WAS his fault and Sirius was now wallowing in that thought! He HAD betrayed Lily and James! He had failed his friends and poor Harry. He would never know his parents and if he asked anyone about them, he would know the reply:  
  
"Your parent's were good kind people. The best two wizards out there. But, your godfather killed them, Harry!"  
  
'It's no more than what I deserve!' Sirius slumped to the back of his room, pushing himself against the wall. Trying to skulk into the shadows even further. With all these depressing thoughts, the Dementors were nowhere in sight. Feeding on souls of others that had just been in possession of a barely happy thought.  
  
Sirius knew he would have to escape this place. To prove to Remus that he wasn't guilty, to show his Godson that he didn't betray the boy's parents. Hate rose within him as he thought of Wormtail, the sick smirk plastered on his face as he killed the muggles. If only he had-had a trial! Veritasium could have saved him. He could have proven his innocence with that clear liquid. But as he constantly reminded himself, the guilt was mainly his even if the deed was not.  
  
Still, escape was Sirius's only option. He had to bring the traitor to light! What if Wormtail had gone to Remus? Begging for protection, because big bad Sirius hadn't finished the job! He had to escape, even if it meant revealing Padfoot! The covering of the lurid night was the best opportunity he had. Till then, he had to save his ebbing strength.  
  
- - - - - - -  
  
The blaring light of sunrise woke Remus from his fitful slumber. He was still on the cold wooden seat, where he had collapsed the previous night. Looking down at his work, he noticed blurred patches of tearstains on his funeral speech. The blue ink surprisingly mixed from a multitude of pinks and purples with a slight amount of black. He scrutinised the piece of work, thumbing at the corners in an effort to decrease them. He sighed and began to rise from his seat, rubbing at his weary bloodshot eyes.  
  
A cup of muggle coffee was in order. He left his desk in the disarray of papers and spilt ink, making his way over to his minuscule kitchen.  
  
Trudging to the kitchen, Lupin dragged his feet. The way that children did when they couldn't have their way. Remus wasn't having his way either! As he walked by the living room all the photos his group had taken over the years bombarded him with twinkling happy memories from the past. Memories that he wanted to still be a part of. A single photo stood out from the rest; a photo from Lily and James's wedding. Sirius, Peter, James and he all 'Dressed up-to-the Nines' in Tuxedos rather than Wizards' robes, as Lily wanted a muggle wedding. Sirius mysteriously had one hand behind his back. He was holding his wand creating doves that flew up behind the couple when they took the photo. Lupin smiled faintly, 'Sirius couldn't be guilty' he thought to himself as he saw the genuine expression of happiness on his face. 'But he had to be! All people change, eve the people you least expect.' Remus looked at Peter, glaring at Sirius for making the doves. Peter had always been pushed aside by James, as Sirius was his best friend. Remus's eyes were downcast as they began to well up with tears. He placed the picture back on its shelf, removing the specks of dust with a grubby sleeve.  
  
/flash back/  
  
"Ok guys! Camera's in position, I want everybody smiling!" Mad Eye Moody hobbled back to his position with the group.  
  
The day was as perfect as it could have been. The sun shone vividly in the lambent cerulean sky. Cloudless with a gentle warm breeze. The masses of jubilant people gathering in front of the old church.  
  
James and Lily stood proudly at the centre of the crowd. Lily wearing a beautiful white wedding dress with her veil behind her head. It glistened in the sun, the radiant snowy gown covering her feet and hugging her waist. She made everyone seem like dimmed stars in comparison. James wearing a black and white tux with a gold hankie in his breast pocket. Sirius (the best man) standing to James's right with a similar suit. And Lupin with Peter on Lily's left wearing black tuxes with red in the breast pocket looking as proud as they could possibly be.  
  
Lupin glanced at Sirius, knowing he was up to no good. The ebony haired adult smiling secretively with his wand hand behind his back. Lupin knew that Sirius wouldn't do anything to jeopardise the occasion, but this didn't mean he wouldn't pull something.  
  
Just as Lupin began to settle down and smile for the camera, four white sparks soundlessly appeared from behind the crowd obviously from Sirius's wand. The four sparks turning into magnificent white doves. The crowd looked up laughing at the corniness, but at the same time finding it very appropriate.  
  
Remus let out a sigh of relief as Sirius winked at him. Meanwhile, Peter glared at Sirius for once again doing something to show off in front of James.  
  
/end flash back/  
  
Remus poured himself a particularly strong cup of coffee, inhaling it before beginning to sip slowly at the hot beverage. The strong poignant flavour getting at the back of his tongue. The taste foreign because of the lack of food he had consumed.  
  
Dumbledore had visited him on numerous occasions, checking on him but offering no advice or words of comfort. If anything, Dumbledore was avoiding the subject. 'I guess not even Dumbledore has come to terms with it!'  
  
He resumed his position at the desk and began to write about the wedding and all the good times they had all shared. He willed himself not to start sobbing again, he had to finish the speech. 


End file.
